It’s renting a motorbike. Period. It’s not even close. Renting a motorbike in Thailand, or anywhere in Asia is extremely dangerous. Particularly in Vietnam.
It’s also extremely popular, and it’s not hard to see why. Outside of Bangkok transit is severely lacking. There may be some sort of jitney bus running around town but other than that it’s typically either Grab or shoe leather for getting around. Even if it never occurred to you to rent a motorbike in Thailand there’s a certain thought process that many visitors undertake once they arrive that goes like this:
- ‘Oh look at all these shops renting motorbikes. They sure seem popular here.’
- ‘Gee, it kinda sucks walking up and down this strip in the heat. And we want to go see a few attractions outside of town. Maybe we should check out the bikes.’
- ‘Wait, these are only $6 a day to rent? That’s cheaper than taxis!’
- ‘Hey, they’re just little 50cc engines. We’ll be careful’
- ‘I really ought to have a license but how hard could it be? We just want to go around town a little and out to the elephant sanctuary.’
- ‘YOLO! When in Rome!’
A Cautionary Tale
As I sit here in my beachside villa in Krabi I’m watching the BBC while I wait for the rains to pass. They’re profiling this guy, John McFall, who has been selected as the first disabled person to go to space. It’s easy to see why. He’s a type-A high achiever having excelled in extreme sports and become a surgeon.
But they mentioned that he lost his leg at 19 years old after renting a motorbike in Thailand. It’s easy to imagine that back then he felt fairly invincible, being away from home and in paradise for the first time. I’d wager that before renting that bike he had a thought process similar to the one outlined above.
You could say 19 is extremely young to be going around the world unsupervised, and you’d be correct. Maybe you, gentle reader, are more prudent than McFall was at that age. But it doesn’t matter. If it’s not rain it can be road conditions. If it’s not your speed it’s a careless driver overtaking you. If it’s not losing your leg, it’s a severe neck injury. But once you crash, it can be a life changing event there’s no going back from.
Smokey, My Friend, You’re Entering a World of Pain
Do you have insurance for renting a motorbike in Thailand? Is it valid without an international drivers’ permit? Or maybe you think you’re covered by your own insurer? Or your credit card? Do you think the average Thai townie who ran into you has insurance? He doesn’t.
Do you think the law and authorities are going to side with you, Tony the Tourist, or the local Thais and the rental shop? Maybe you think that since Thailand is poor and the rentals are so cheap you can just buy your way out of even a bad situation. Oh ho ho. Woe unto thee. A purse, once opened, is emptied.
Maybe you think that at least in the worst case scenario you have good health insurance and you bought travel insurance for the trip. Are you sure they’re going to cover you zipping around Thailand without a license? Wanna Google it real quick to check? Imagine all the toll free numbers you’re going to be calling while injured and all the hours you’ll spend on hold just to realize you’re the one holding the bag.
Danger in Thailand: Perception vs. Reality
One of the most tedious conversations in the travel sphere is “is it safe?” Many people imagine gangs of thieves and pickpockets lurking around every corner just waiting for some hapless Westerner to come along.
Many people live in very comfortable environments and haven’t seen so much as a homeless person in their own town. If they’re asked for money they can react as though their very lives are in danger. To say nothing of things like the drugs, gambling and prostitution many folks enjoy while on vacation.
But renting a motorbike in Thailand is more dangerous than all of those things combined. Above is one of many urgent care centers here in Ao Nang. It’s directly across from the motorbike rental shop. Do you think this is here for Thais with strep throat and bellyaches? Or for all the Westerners busting their asses on bikes?
Crashing is Not the Only Danger
See how in this photo it says “passport copy only?” It’s because many of these shops want to hold your actual passport while you rent the bike. Obviously if you let them, you’re entering a whole other world of pain when they decide to hold your passport hostage for extra money for damages (real or imagined) or for a late charge (late or not).
This kind of thing is a very common scam when renting a motorbike in Thailand. Maintenance on these bikes is done at a bare minimum level and often deferred. If you get a flat tire or a burnt out lightbulb they’re going to rake you over the coals for repairs. Even if the damage was pre-existing. You can try to fight with them about it but you’re not going to be successful. At the very least they’ve got a copy of your passport info and they can easily make a problem for you at your hotel or even at the airport on your way out.
If you rent a motorbike in Thailand essentially everything has to go right for you. As soon as something, anything, goes wrong, even something as simple as getting a parking ticket, it’s enough of a hassle to make you regret even messing with the bike in the first place.
