If you’re shopping flights to Thailand specifically or are exploring throughout Southeast Asia the chances are good a visitor to this part of the world will spend at least a little time in Bangkok. If you haven’t visited the region before it can be a little intimidating, and you might not know exactly what to expect. After all this is a huge city. It is not as if you are just going to New York. Or to London which is New York with a British Accent. Or Tokyo which is New York but clean. This is a truly exotic city in a developing country and it takes a little more getting used to than some other destinations you may visit.
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The Basics: Language, Money, and Visas
It’s helpful to remember that the entire Thai economy is more or less entirely driven by tourism. They make everything as easy as possible for visitors. Americans can just show up at the airport and they’ill stamp your passport no questions asked. That extendable visa is good for 30 days. If your travels will take you out of Bangkok and back again it won’t be a problem entering the second time.
They speak English in Thailand. At least, they speak English in the places you’re likely to visit and throughout the hospitality industry. If you are sticking to Bangkok and the beaches you will have no language barrier to worry about.
The Thai currency is Baht, which exchanges at about 34 to $1.00. Most things are cheap. A bottle of water is 10 baht. A small meal is around 250. A motorbike taxi is 30-40 and a ride on the BTS or MRT is around 35 Baht each way.
Because 1 Baht is such a small amount, you’ll never have to deal with change, although it does exist. But you will have coins worth 1, 2, 5 and 10 Baht. Banknotes start at 20. The notes and coins are very easy to distinguish, count and carry. You can find an ATM or currency exchange window anywhere you look.
A lot of Thai commerce happens on the street or in small shops, but many merchants and restaurants take credit cards. You’ll be better off paying with a travel credit card wherever possible.
Where to Stay in Bangkok
Near the train! This is important and can’t be overstated. The traffic in Bangkok is the worst in the world. Streets are clogged at all hours. The city does not feature a typical urban street grid so even walking can be a pain in the ass. If your hotel is tucked way back in some soi it is going to mean either several miles of extra walking over the course of your visit, or looking for a motorbike or tuk tuk each way. Study the hotels map carefully.
Although it looks like it on a map there is no “downtown” in Bangkok. The area around Phra Nakhon and by the river doesn’t offer any advantages or amenities you won’t find elsewhere. The whole city is big and dense and full of tall buildings. It is all downtown.
Most visitors elect to stay along the BTS train line on Sukhumvit Road. This area is home to a lot of embassies and hotels and has a very international character. I think you’d be nuts to stay anywhere else. One of the Citrus Hotel properties there is a good bet if you’re on a budget. When I left Sukhumvit and stayed in Sathon for a few nights I spent a lot of that time riding back to the skytrain anyway.
The flight there and back is so long you might consider a single night in an airport hotel when you’re coming and going.
Terminal 21
In particular, I recommend staying as close as possible to the Terminal 21 shopping mall which is where you will find the Asok Station on the BTS line and the Sukhumvit station on the MRT, making it easy to use either train without transferring.
The area around the Siam stop offers a lot of shopping and upscale hotel chains, with a vibe sort of like Chicago’s Magnificent Mile. Staying anywhere in between these two stops is still the sweet spot, but if I were to visit again I would want to be at one of these two.
If you find a good deal on a hotel further east on Sukhumvit go ahead and book it. The stretch of Sukhumvit all the way from Asok to Ekkamai is much the same, and you might even find it to be a little less international and more authentically Thai. The BTS train runs so fast and so often that you won’t mind going a few extra stops. If you are planning to take a bus trip to Pattaya being near Ekkamai will be very convenient for you.
Bangkok’s Red Light districts
Bangkok is famous for its reputation as a worldwide adult playground. There are three red light districts in the city. Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy are both on the BTS line and it’s not difficult to walk from one to the other. The Patpong is near Silom Road on the MRT line. For as much as these places figure into the reputation of the city they are actually self-contained and… kinda tame?
The Patpong is gasping for its final breaths. This was the original red light district and is older than the other two. With most touristsstaying on Sukhumvit the area around Patpong is desolate at night. Walking by the bars you can see they’re mostly empty and the girls are sitting around bored. It’s as if they’re throwing a party every night and no one is showing up. The night market there is nothing but cheap fugazis straight from China.
Nana Plaza is a self-contained mall. It’s pretty easy to walk past the entrance and not even notice it, because the street is so crowded and busy. Soi Cowboy is a pedestrian street about the length of two city blocks. If not for the large sign at both ends you wouldn’t even notice it was there.
These spots are pretty tame when you see them in person. The nature of the industry means all the Devil’s business is done in hotel rooms. The go go bars are just a collection of women in bikinis mostly standing around, being bored or staring at their phones. You’ll see couples and groups of tourists sightseeing, grabbing a beer and gawking, posting on Instagram. It doesn’t feel as seedy as it sounds.
There are prostitutes working along Sukhumvit Road, but they blend into the crowded urban fabric. You’ll hardly notice unless you’re seeking them out. Again, they just look like women standing around staring at their phones. Nothing out of the ordinary.
What to Eat and Drink in Bangkok: Breakfast
Unfortunately you won’t find American-style diner breakfast over here. You might wake up at 12:30 with a killer hangover and offer your kingdom for a Waffle House but you will be forsaken. Many hotels offer a breakfast buffet. It seems like a good deal if you are at home booking your stay online but these buffets are generally bad. You can probably do better for the same money out on the street. In particular there are two things you’ll find around breakfast time that are worth trying. Omelettes with rice are very common. Often they include some kind of spicy herb mixture which is very hot, but can be moderated by just using a small amount mixed in with the rice. The other is the mango sticky rice, which is sweet and filling. this is a great choice to take to your hotel and store in the fridge overnight.
A good cup of coffee is going to be hard to find here. Even at 7-Eleven they just have a cappuccino machine sort of thing. There are vendors on the street who sell Thai coffee with condensed milk. It is good and you should try it. Unfortunately they serve it in little tiny cups that aren’t nearly big enough. If you try to buy three or four of them to take away you are going to find yourself juggling a big mess of plastic bags and cups because that’s how they do things over there.
You should make sure that your hotel is near a Starbucks if coffee is a priority. Since you are staying as close to Sukhumvit and the train as possible, this should not be difficult.
Lunch
Bangkok is famous for its street food, and indeed you will find food vendors everywhere. These range from small carts to full scale restaurants set up right on the sidewalk. Many people living in Bangkok have only a room, with no kitchen of their own. So they eat every meal on the street. Most of what you find is variations on grilled fish, roasted chicken, and bowls of noodles with meat and broth. Everything is cheap and exotic and interesting. It is only natural that you would want to just walk around and eat all day. You should do that… but not overdo it.
Thai street hawkers are not sticklers for refrigeration and sanitation. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with eating on the street. Foreigners are going to want to use a bit of moderation to avoid shocking their gastrointestinal system. Likewise, don’t drink the water. Bottled water only costs a few cents and is never further than the nearest 7-Eleven.
Dinner
At first it will seem like there is an unlimited array of street food, but a lot of it is pretty similar. If you are staying more than a day or two you should try a few restaurants as well. With Sukhumvit being so international there are restaurants from all over the world. Many places cater to British expats. You’ll find authentic Indian and cuisines from across Asia. There is an area around Sukhumvit 5 that is all Middle Eastern with Arab, Turkish, Persian, and Lebanese options.
This might be an unpopular opinion but: There is also no shame in getting a Whopper at Burger King if that is what you want. Have lunch in one of the malls. Who cares? You can’t kill yourself searching out the perfect meal three times a day. You can’t live by grilled fish alone. Go visit one of the rooftop restaurants with a spectacular view (seen at the top of this post and have a little pizza and some french fries while you’re there. The crispy pork skewers and salted octopus will still be there tomorrow.
Bangkok’s Chinatown
A night in Chinatown is a must-do. There is little else there but food and it is a step up from everywhere else in Bangkok. The whole area is like a culinary festival every night, crowded with people eating out on the street. There are restaurants here too serving up things you won’t find in the States like shark fin and bird’s nest soup. If you are particularly interested in street food or your trip has a culinary focus, one of the street food tours there will provide a better experience than just wandering aimlessly.
There is an MRT train stop right in the heart of Chinatown. Come at sunset and bring your appetite. Chinatown is not far from the famous Khao San Road. Do not go to Khao San Road. It sucks so bad. I can’t stress this enough. It is nothing but crowds and noise and people jumping in your face with beer menus every six seconds. The whole street is shitty bars and nothing else is there. It is terrible. Even if you are 21, broke and looking to party on the cheap you are not going to enjoy it. It is a huge waste of time and there is literally nothing good about it.
What to Do and How Long to Stay
A list of the best attractions in Bangkok is beyond the scope of this post. That’s what sites like Expedia are for. Most people want to see a couple of temples, do some shopping, and eat. You can do plenty of that in 3-4 days. After that amount of time you night find yourself tired of hearing “Massage Kaaa??” every two minutes and dodging the fake Rolex guy and the weed shop guy every time you walk down the street. The traffic noise is so loud you might want to go around in ear plugs.
After the better part of a week you will inevitably start thinking about Thai beaches, wondering why you’re not sitting on one, and decide it is time to fix that as soon as possible.
